We have many expectations of the little one that we are expecting.   

When we say we want a child to be normal and healthy, what we also mean is that we want our child to be accepted within the society they live, and that they have good opportunities to take their life forward.  Sometimes our own acceptance of the child is measured through this.    The idea of normal does give the indication that there is possibly one accepted way of normal.    The reality is that our children, we ourselves, have a great diversity of features and characteristics.  Valuing them all is the way toward better life outcomes for all.      

We also expect that our children learn and engage in the profession that would allow then to have a good life and if there is a single issue that might make it more challenging we are disturbed.   So how do we measure our expectations and offer acceptance and love?  

Relationships are built with communication: both listening and speaking.    

What do you think the little one who will grow up nurtured shaped by his/her biology and parents and society would expect of you?   How will you listen?   

“I am worried about how people will see me because I am different from what is seen as normal.   The idea of normal is being questioned and attitudes and changing.    I am kind, caring, mischievous, intelligent and funny, but I fear that I am only going to be seen for the one thing that will make me different.  I am worried that I will be alone because there will be assumptions about me. That I will be or feel bullied because of what people will say or do to me.  What I need is acceptance and love.   What I have to offer is friendship, perseverance, ideas for a better tomorrow and much more.  Accept me and support me to be all that I can be.”   

“When you meet me, you will see that I can’t do all the things that you expect of me because I can’t see with my eyes.   I am like many others who have what is experienced a sensory deprivation. My sight sense is not the same as yours.   For another it would be the hearing sense that is not the same as many others. I am not only that I can’t see.   I am baby, I will be a child, a teenager and then an adult. Accept me and support me to fulfil all my dreams because I have a vision of how I want to live my life and contribute to the making this beautiful world a better place.”

“My brain you will see works very fast. It goes from idea to idea, activity to activity very fast. When you meet me I will not be able to tell you this. I might not properly understand it myself. I will not be able stay at one thing for long.  As much as I love to play, I might pull and push because I won’t know how manage my physical strength.  I will scream and shout behave in a way that you will call bad, not even naughty.  I will have a lot of difficult emotions that I can’t manage.  I know it will take more time and you will get tired but I appreciate that help me, play with me and believe in me.   If you support and show me how to manage myself, control my temper and manage my thoughts, I will be able to enjoy the more positive sides of my hyperactivity.  My self-esteem and confidence I need so I need your praise as much as the boundaries and punishments you will set.   Accept me and help me to be a part of society and do good for this world.”     

Relationships start with acceptance. And for the child the parent is the first point of experiencing acceptance and love.  How will you respond to the story you will hear? 

“Every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.” Josh Shipp

TIP: Each colour of the rainbow is on its own beautiful.  Together they form a special phenomenon.  This is what the appreciation of diversity creates – a beautiful rainbow that we marvel at.   Open your mind and heart to hear the different voices of our children that must be heard for the rainbow to glow.

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