To better understand parental wellbeing, it is important to understand wellbeing first.  If we were to consider quality of life as a spectrum, well-being would be on the side associated with happiness, feeling of comfort and a sense of satisfaction.   Wellbeing encompasses physical, psychological, emotional and social factors.   There are many different schools of thought of how to move towards wellbeing.  For example, a prominent mindfulness trainer and researcher Richard Davidson highlighted awareness, connection, insight and purpose as four components of wellbeing.   A comprehensive research conducted by the National Health Service UK (NHS) identified connections with others, being active, learning new skills, the practice of generosity and mindfulness as five factors that contribute to an individual’s wellbeing.  Based on both these wellness indicators we can identify a sense of purpose, generosity (not only in money but also the giving of time), gratitude, our interactions with others and learning key skills of wellness that you would like to nurture.   As individuals it is important for us to nurture wellbeing and you can consider which of the above you would like to develop as habits.

The bond you create with your child will always have a great significance in your life. Nurturing a child can be very stressful depending most significantly on the conduct of a child(ren). Parental well-being is closely associated with how confident a parent(s) feels about their perceived ability, skills and resources to influence a child’s behavior. With this is mind I would like to invite you to also watch the Facebook Post in Growingup.lk that I hope will give you some effective strategies to improve parenting outcomes specific to managing children when they are at home. In this article we will consider some the mindset factors that contribute to parental wellbeing.

Consider the following questions:  

How satisfied are you with your parenting?

The more satisfied you are with your parenting the happier you will feel as a parent.    

How supported do you feel?  

The more support you have, and the more satisfied you will feel as a parent. 

Psychologist and neuroscientist when considering wellbeing are drawing the conclusion that wellbeing are a set of skills that can be learnt and cultivated over time.   So what would be some of the things that you would might like to do to cultivate this sense of wellbeing?   

1. Develop a support system.    Parents are often judged by their children’s behavior.  While a child’s behavior is an outcome of a number of factors internal and triggered by external environment.   Make sure that your system is supportive.   Make sure your partner or co-parent is supportive of your decision as you are supportive of his or her actions. 
2. In the same lines, it is important that you be of support too.   
3. Develop as many parenting strategies so that you are able to tackle behavioral problems well.   Clear communication and consistency in discipline striking a fair balance between harsh and permissive styles of punishment.
4. Focus more on the positives than the negatives.   Our mind does have a negative bias and sometimes we have to look for the positive which is as present as the negative.  To build on the positive – the practice of gratitude is very beneficial.  At the end of the day if you were to reflect back and appreciate all the positive aspects of your day both big and small – you will in time be able to overcome the negativity more easily.  
5. Have fun.  Enjoy yourself.  Be it playing with your children, meeting with friends, doing something just you and your partner.   Create memories by doing the things that bring you joy.  Live with purpose.   

Wellbeing must be cultivated for yourself.  See what works for you, and form habits that help you in times of stress.    Life will always present you with ups and downs.   Choose to invest in taking responsibility and moving on.  Try not to dwell in shame and embarrassment, because you believe that you are doing the best you can within the current circumstances. 

TIP

Parental well-being is closely associated with how confident a parent(s) feel about ability, skills and resources to influence a child’s behavior.   Improving parenting strategies will result in greater wellbeing and closer relationships within the family.   Be kind to yourself.  You are doing the best you can. 

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